Recovery Revelations

I didn't realize it had been so long since I last blogged. Wow, have things changed since I was last here. Sitting in the middle of my English Lit class tonight, I had a revelation.

I HAVE POSITIVE FEELINGS!!!!!

All of that anguish, pain, frustration, and sleepless nights have been worth it!!! I know it seems like I should have realized this before now but I'm kinda slow sometimes. ;) 

I'm able to live, laugh, and love. I'm able to go out and have fun without ED ruining my day. I'm able to go out on a date and actually enjoy myself. I'm able to have a meal with friends without crazy anxiety taking over.

I'm a college sophomore now!! ED hasn't been able to take power over me and I haven't had to sit out a semester for medical reasons or any reason, for that matter. I suffered through a rough "relapse" earlier this year but I've been able to maintain a stable weight for the past 2 months!!! It doesn't sound like alot, but when you're struggling to maintain recovery, you know how important that is.

I've been able to maintain my job for almost 2 years now!! ED hasn't prevented me from being able to work and maintain my hours. I've had many, many rough lunchtimes with ED being extremely loud, but I'm still pushing through it.

Even though this year has been filled with a string of  bad relationships, I'm able to go out on a date and begin to get know a potential boyfriend. I'm able to work past my insecurities and realize that even though I like to go out and have a good time, dating is not my whole world. I've been able to meet a wonderful person and know how you should be treated in a relationship-amazing. Talk about setting the bar high, guys. :) You'd better watch out. ;)         I've been able to turn down potential dates without feeling guilty.

I've developed amazing friendships with some amazing girls!! We have crazy wild ideas and have to remind ourselves that we have to try to stay on the sane side....not everyone can be stalkers ;) Deanna, Brittany, Elise, and Becca, you all are amazing and thanks for putting up with me. You all have encouraged me countless times and still do, tell me my butt looks sexy in my jeans and make me a better person, all together.

I could go on and on, but considering I have to work tomorrow and have Biology until 9 PM tomorrow night, I'm gonna wrap this up. 

All this, absolutely every single moment of the past five years, has been worth it to get to the point I am now. I'm happy, in love with my life, and feeling comfortable being me. I'm in love with my crazy personality, my body, my family, my friends, my life. Goodnight everyone and thanks for checking out my rambles.